Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Today's rant

So.   Today I have something special.   I'm going to rant for you.  On a subject that bothers me.  That subject is bullying, suicide, and harassment.   I have dealt with all three of those things in my life.   And I'm sick of it.  I am so sick of it.  Yes I have a chronic depression disorder.  Yes I have an extreme mental problem.  I don't need other  people to remind me of that fact.  I have enough damn trouble in my life. There have been points in my life when I didn't want to do anything but die. But im still here. Why? Because of my friends.  My friends have kept me alive. Most of my friends are girls.  That does not mean I'm a player or a pimp.  That means girls are the ones I trust the most.  I purely do not trust most guys.  They're mostly mean and egotistical assholes.  Girls understand me and my troubles.  I don't have any siblings to confide in.  I won't lie, sometimes I don't trust my parents.  My friends are my sisters.   I treat them that way.  I protect them with my life. I've been bullied to no end.  Most people will not talk to me for various reasons.   I am not a social person.   I do not like being forced to talk.  If i dont wanna talk to you STFU.  I also despise the way guys treat girls these days.  Girls are angels to be treasured.   Not toys to be played with and put down at your leisure. 
  Sorry if I put anybody in a bad mood or offended anyone.  But I needed to get that out of my system. 

Monday, September 30, 2013

I found this today


Please go to this link.  It will tell you about the problems I'm afflicted by

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Klipsch s4i review

Today is a fairly special post on a special product.  Yes I am doing a review.  On earphones.  The photo above is of the cheap and amazing Klipsch S4.  They are audiophile class earphones retailing for 100 dollars.  To start off the build quality I find to be a little more than average.  The driver housings are made from a sturdy plastic, but the cord while fairly tangle free is flat.  The microphonics displayed are terrible.  To remedy this wrapping the earphones around the ear is advised.  The sound quality is gracefully amazing.  Note this is not a neutral headphone.  The package says right on it, "enhanced base".  Even with that stated though, no frequency is overstated.  I for one like a neutral headphone, but for those who like a lot of dubstep or rap will rejoice.  I am quite the bass head at times so I use these for when I want that extra punch.  The overall performance of these earphones is great.  Listening to Tommy by The Who is a joy.  The subtle tones of a piano, the low bass tones, Robert Daughtry's vocals.  It all sounds simply sublime.  
Comfort is acceptable and the included ear tips do a decent job at creating a seal, which is essential. The silicone tips are higher grade than what you might find in lesser earphones and the dual flange tips work well.
When it comes down to it if you are looking for a great sounding earphone for the price than the s4i is for you.

*update* Now that I have had more than a year with these earphones I can say the above is not truly the case.  It will be if you are upgrading from stock earbuds, but if you are like me and have had your share of professional and audiophile grade gear than you will notice this earphone's shortcomings.  The enhanced bass is prominent and can make things muddy.  Mids and highs are most definitely there but it is not ideal.

Saturday, August 17, 2013


The world is only about its players.  This is something I have learned very recently that I shall never forget, no I shall not.  I dare say my life is not what it should be.  But on the other hand it could easily be.  If I knew what and where and maybe even who.  The consequences for my actions always disappoint.  Nothing I do seems to go right.  Wrong and right.  Two things I know very much about, yet still too little to tell one about the subject. My statement revolves around my main theory of human response.  To which all living humans respond to any situation in essentially the same way, but in many different factors and patterns.  No one man or woman knows the outcome of a situation until it happens or doesn't indeed happen.

Take the animals above for instance.  Butterflies resting on a tree and a turtle gracefully swimming in the ocean.  In both situations above if a living human passer by were to see these events happening at such a peaceful state he or she may react in the same way, calmly.  Yet two more may come and destroy these scenes of grace and beauty.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


To all my followers.  Tell me this.   Why you follow any blogs?  What is your reasoning for reading posts by some random person who you may not even know in real life?  Is it interesting?  Does the subject grab you?   What is it? 


My deepest apologies for those few who may follow this forever alone blog lol.   I've been dealing mental problems(as you may tell due to the name of the blog) and summer school work.   But I have a question to ask for you!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Life lesson

When it comes to life.   There are certain lessons one must learn.   And I learned one today.   Girls are precious beings.  Don't dsiurb them.   They're meant to fall in love with not fall on.   Don't treat them like chew toys.   Don't treat them like the devil.   Because they will treat you the same and worse.   I happen to be best friends with many girls.   I treat then with more respect than I'd ever give myself.  


So far on this day I think
My thoughts run around in my head
My head?
Where is my head?
Does it exist?
Am I alive?
Shall I explain?
I've been told death is near
Then again I'm alive each day
Dare I say?
They were wrong....

Wednesday, August 7, 2013


Have ever thought about it?
What your loved ones lives would be
Like without you?. How thee feel?
Would they miss you?
Would they care?
I'd hope so.


Since I am just starting in the. Blogging buis I'd like some feedback on my last few posts.  Just be honest

The theory

The waits over.  So I told you I had a theory on emotions.  Before it was more just ideas inside my over bloated head.  Now its more of what you may call a real theory.  You see a lot of people meet others.  Sometimes yah get that feeling.  Like "hey she's different". Whether or not that difference is a good or bad thing doesn't matter.  My theory is that maybe your brain doesn't know what emotions are.  Maybe your brain doesn't distinguish between love and hate or good and bad.  Maybe it just says to itself," hey this is feeling and now I'm passing it onto the body to deal with".  Your brain doesn't want to deal with emotions so it sends them off for your body to figure out.  When your body doesn't know what to do it sends the emotion back to the brain.  That's why people get confused.  I don't know if this made sense to anyone.  But I needed to get that out.  Enjoy my needless rambling!


I have a theory.  Its about love.  Emotion.  And mental processing.  I don't know how I came up with it.  If you want to know.  I'll tell you in my next post


Idk what to feel anymore.  Idk how I feel anymore.  People and things tell me death is the answer.  I tell myself I need to live it out a bit longer.  As my rainbow reaches the sun all shall be revealed

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


I have learned to despise my brain.  Its a horrible thing that shoves me out of reality and I to another horrible dimension where I don't belong.  Because of this brain I've nearly died many times.  And made me want to die many more

People :-(

This is why I hate people.  Things like this.  Posting a picture like this just makes suicidal people want to leave the world more.  Being one myself I saw this and nearly started... Never mind.  Just do me a huge favor people.  Stop pushing people around.  Its horrible and stupid.

Todays thoughts

Today's one of the last days of my vacation.  Idk what to think.  Yah see I like being away from home but I also don't.... I mean when I'm home I'm safe.   Or at least I feel that way.... Who knows what could come for me out in the real world... In my house I'm safe from everyone.  People these days are too critical.  If people were more laid back.... Maybe I'd be more social.  Pshh no I wouldn't.